Do you find yourself apologizing for having needs and wants? For setting a boundary? For taking care of yourself? Do you over-justify those needs and wants along the way? Do you apologize for things that just don’t need an apology like being a human with a human body or a woman with an opinion? So…

There is a quiet epidemic I’ve noticed in my life coaching clients and saw in my patients, particularly my patients with GI issues. An epidemic of shame and guilt that keeps folks feeling small and from living into our truest power. That epidemic is summed up in two words, “I’m sorry.” I want to talk…

For many White and White-passing folx starting the working of becoming anti-racist, we become so scared ? to do or say the wrong thing that we don’t do the work because we get stuck in that activated fear body.⁠ ⁠ And that’s where the work needs to start, to learn to be okay with being…

Co-regulation is a vital human function.⁣⁠⁣ ⁣ Co-regulation happens when our autonomic nervous systems attune to another person, and there is an energetic exchange that helps both creatures to get into ventral vagal, to feel safe, secure and grounded in the moment.⁣⁠⁣ ⁣⁠⁣ I say creatures because while most of us think of this as…

If you’re White or White-passing and you’re starting to do the work of becoming anti-racist, you may feel a sense of urgency to change your thoughts ?.⁠ ⁠ This is an attempt to create different feelings without really sitting with the painful ? truth.⁠ ⁠ It’s called emotional bypassing ⏭️.⁠ ⁠ And that simply doesn’t…

When people are accustomed to you putting their needs and wants and whims ahead of yours, they likely won’t be delighted when you start to heal, grow and learn to put yourself first.⁣⁠ ⁣⁠ the people-you-used-to-pleased may have some feels about that…⁣⁠ ⁣⁠ and that’s okay.⁣⁠ ⁣⁠ truly.⁣⁠ ⁣⁠ i didn’t say it would be…

Have you ever found yourself telling someone else what they should do to fix their life? How they should be living? How their life would be so much better if they just followed your plan, especially when they didn’t ask you for your input? This, my love, is the fixer thought fantasy, and it’s one…

  We’ve talked a lot about people-pleasing in this blog. That insidious habit of thinking that we can affect or change how someone else thinks or feels about us by trying to read their mind, do what we think they want to us, which is always a projection of our own internal landscape. Your thoughts…