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Accepting Our Racist Biases

For many White and White-passing folx starting the working of becoming anti-racist, we become so scared 😨 to do or say the wrong thing that we don’t do the work because we get stuck in that activated fear body.⁠

And that’s where the work needs to start, to learn to be okay with being corrected or called out 🗣️, to release the perfectionist thought 💭 habits that keep you procrastinating and spinning 🌀 and being obsessed with being the A+ gold star ⭐ in every area of your life.⁠

Just as with any other area of live, these thought habits keep you dysregulated when you think about your bias, your racism, your cassette tapes.⁠

So instead, I invite you to welcome it 👋, to be open to failing on purpose, and to open your mind 🧠 and your heart ♥️ to Black and Brown people telling you that you F-ed up.⁠

It’s not just okay — it’s a GIFT 🎁 for marginalized folx to give you their labor, including the labor of telling you that you misspoke, took a wrong action, centered yourself 🙋 in a conversation, were performative 🎭 in your allyship, optical, versus doing the work and being a true accomplice in this lucha.⁠

Acceptance.⁠

Accept that you have bias and that you can work on it.⁠

You will do it wrong AND take action 💪.⁠

My beauty, you have to get regulated.⁠

We as White and White-passing folx have to get regulated in our bodies and nervous system if we’re to be accomplices to black folx and other POCs and marginalized groups.⁠

For anyone who needs a refresher on getting regulated, I invite you to listen 🎧 to episodes 48 and 61, which are all about polyvagal theory and the nervous system.⁠

Barriers to Seeing Your Own Bias

 

So let’s talk about the barriers many White and White-passing folx are experiencing when trying to show up for Black folx right now.⁠

The main one I see is that when you’re rolling around in your shock 😮, sadness 😥, disbelief 😦, you’re not taking action 💪.⁠

When you’re in worry 😬, you’re not in action to change your life or the world 🌎. ⁠

When you’re focused on centering your own comfort in a situation, worrying about being called out or making a mistake, all of that can trigger us to defend ourselves 🙅.⁠

To go into fight-or-flight (sympathetic)🏃‍♀️ or freeze (dorsal vagal shutdown) 😶.⁠

And if we’re operating from either of those places, we are not effective, efficient, or helpful 😔.⁠

We are not our highest selves.⁠

We are not our most cognitively capable selves.⁠

When you’re focused on your own shame or embarrassment or worry, your own people-pleasing and perfectionism, you’re physiologically not listening 👂, not thinking well, not showing up, not rising to your fullest capacity to use your voice 🗣️ for good.⁠

Because science 👩‍🔬.⁠

And a huge part of this work is to put aside your own shame, worry, and fear.⁠

The more you’re able to put your own stuff aside by giving it love 💗 and care 🤗 — never by shutting it down — the more you can show up now to be actively anti-racist, to be okay with being wrong.⁠

Do this work with love, gentleness, and above all, an open heart ♥️ and mind 🧠.⁠

For more about the power of thought work in becoming an anti-racist ally and accomplice, listen to Episode 69 of Feminist Wellness.⁠

VictoriaAlbina

Victoria Albina

Victoria Albina, NP, MPH is a licensed and board certified Family Nurse Practitioner, herbalist and life coach, with 20 years experience in health and wellness. She trained at the University of California, San Francisco, and holds a Masters in Public Health from Boston University and a bachelors from Oberlin College. She comes to this work having been a patient herself, and having healed from a lifetime of IBS, GERD, SIBO, fatigue, depression and anxiety.

She is passionate about her work, and loves supporting patients in a truly holistic way - body, mind, heart and spirit. A native of Mar del Plata, Argentina, she grew up in the great state of Rhode Island, and lives in NYC with her partner. A brown dog named Frankie Bacon has her heart, and she lives for steak and a good dark chocolate.

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