Posts Tagged ‘stuck’

Choosing the Wrong People: Why You’re Not Broken

you aren't broken

For years, I was told that I had a broken picker—that I picked the “wrong people” to date, picked the wrong friends, the wrong jobs and confidants because my picker was broken. And I believed it. I was in a challenging place in my life, a vulnerable-feeling place, and I believed what I was told…

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The Perfect Time for Your Dreams is Now

Time for dreams is now

Does your brain love to tell you to wait? To not do that thing you dream of until your ducks are all in a tidy row, until the time is right, until the stars are perfectly aligned? Whether you defer your dreams for that most perfect moment, struggling to take action towards your goals, or…

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The Power of Yet

The Power of Yet

Do you have big dreams for your life? Do you imagine a future in which you set healthy boundaries, don’t take on other people’s emotions, do what you want to do, not what you feel obligated to do to keep others happy? Do you dream of quitting your job, starting your own business, going to…

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Believing in Your Goals, Believing in Yourself

Belief in yourself

Here we are, but a few little minutes away from New Year’s, and the potentially crushing weight of that silly tradition of New Year’s resolutions, which let’s be real, just don’t work. Don’t lead to real change in our lives, and particularly for my perfectionist thinkers out there, I see you. The fantasy-level resolutions our…

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Accepting Our Racist Biases

For many White and White-passing folx starting the working of becoming anti-racist, we become so scared ? to do or say the wrong thing that we don’t do the work because we get stuck in that activated fear body.⁠ ⁠ And that’s where the work needs to start, to learn to be okay with being…

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Co-regulation

Co-regulation is a vital human function.⁣⁠⁣ ⁣ Co-regulation happens when our autonomic nervous systems attune to another person, and there is an energetic exchange that helps both creatures to get into ventral vagal, to feel safe, secure and grounded in the moment.⁣⁠⁣ ⁣⁠⁣ I say creatures because while most of us think of this as…

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Emotional Childhood

Emotional Childhood

As children, we have limited capacity to control our emotions, and even less ability to take ownership over our behavior. Because we’re kiddos – and developmentally, we just aren’t there yet. As physical adults, we can easily slip back into an emotionally childlike state where our inner child is calling the shots, keeping us from…

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Inner Child

Inner Child

In childhood, we learned to survive, to please our parents, our teachers, to label our behavior internally as either all good or all bad and to make it mean something about us as beings. We learned to think in black and white ways because that’s what children do, and to judge ourselves where we fell…

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You’re a Human Being Not a Human Doing

Slow down the busy

  Self-love and self-care are such common buzzwords right now. If your social media feed is anything like mine, it’s full up on posts about self-care and the best ways to do it. And it often seems to involve lying on some perfect Grecian island with cucumbers on your eyes wrapped in seaweed as your…

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