Posts by Victoria Albina
Ep #146: Codependency, Perfectionism and All-or-Nothing Thinking
As we head into the holidays and the new year, my mind turns towards what I like to call the season of bountiful buffering. Following closely behind overeating, overdrinking, overspending, and subsequently beating ourselves up is the insidious all-or-nothing thinking that keeps us trapped, so this is what we’re diving into today. All-or-nothing thinking…
Read MoreNavigating Food During the Holidays
Dana Monsees is a dietitian, nutritionist and body image, body love coach. She does phenomenal work to help folks both figure out what the best foods are for them, what nutrients support them, and drop the shame stories about food. Drop the stories that can be so moralistic. Some foods are good, some foods are…
Read MoreEp #145: Navigating Food, Boundaries, and Your Nervous System During the Holidays with Dana Monsees
It’s turkey day for those of us in the US, and this can mean a lot of talk about weight, how our bodies have changed during the pandemic, what we’re choosing to eat or not eat, and it can create a really hostile, triggering environment. If you’re finding your nervous system all fired up expecting…
Read MoreThe 5 Love Languages & Thought Work
As someone who reads, thinks and talks a lot about relationships, I think it’s high time that we talk about the 5 love languages, which is a framework for thinking about how we give and receive love popularized by Gary Chapman in his 1992 book, which has been a NYTimes bestseller for about 10,000 years…
Read MoreEp #144: The 5 Love Languages & Thought Work
As folks living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thoughts, we tend to have a habit of all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking, which can lead to us having a hard time accepting certain expressions of love. You might have a preference for loving and being loved, but we don’t want to box ourselves in with absolutes, so this…
Read MoreLetting Other People Be Wrong About You
I want to talk about the magical secret to joy that is found in letting other people be wrong —about you, about science, about fashion, about astrology, about what they heard you say, what they’re interpreting what they heard you say to mean—about all of it. This matters because it’s a big topic for us,…
Read MoreEp #143: Letting Other People Be Wrong About You
When codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits are our norm, we feel a deep need to prove ourselves right and others wrong. This was most definitely my stance on life. If someone said something I deemed to be incorrect about anything, but especially about me, I had to correct them, didn’t I? I remember the…
Read MoreWhat is a Relationship Green Flag?
A relationship green flag is a sign that a relationship may be a healthy and interdependent one based on mutuality and reciprocity. I’d posit that the more we focus our minds and hearts on seeing the good and believing the good is out there and the more we can cultivate a relationship to ourselves to…
Read MoreEp #142: Relationship Green Flags
Here on Feminist Wellness, we dive deep every single week into the painful and challenging things that those of us with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits experience. This work is necessary when these patterns are all we know, but it’s also vital to highlight the good, to love up on and honor ourselves, so…
Read MoreHonoring Your Yes and How to Say No
Honoring ourselves—our wants, needs, capacities, desires—is often at the bottom of the list of things we do from our codependent framework. We say yes when we want to say no because we want to keep people happy. You can shift out of those unhelpful habits. You can live an intentional and deeply radically honest life,…
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