Posts by Victoria Albina
Ep #72: Anatomy of an Apology
Welcome to the first episode of a multi-part series on apologies. This is a huge topic, especially for those of us who have codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits. Whether you find apologizing challenging or uncomfortable, or whether you fall on the other end of the spectrum where the challenge is to stop constantly apologizing,…
Read MoreAccepting Our Racist Biases
For many White and White-passing folx starting the working of becoming anti-racist, we become so scared 😨 to do or say the wrong thing that we don’t do the work because we get stuck in that activated fear body. And that’s where the work needs to start, to learn to be okay with being…
Read MoreCo-regulation
Co-regulation is a vital human function. Co-regulation happens when our autonomic nervous systems attune to another person, and there is an energetic exchange that helps both creatures to get into ventral vagal, to feel safe, secure and grounded in the moment. I say creatures because while most of us think of this as…
Read MoreBypassing a Challenging Feelings Makes it SO Much Harder to Change
If you’re White or White-passing and you’re starting to do the work of becoming anti-racist, you may feel a sense of urgency to change your thoughts 💭. This is an attempt to create different feelings without really sitting with the painful 😖 truth. It’s called emotional bypassing ⏭️. And that simply doesn’t…
Read MoreWhen You Stop People-Pleasing, People Aren’t Pleased! And that’s okay
When people are accustomed to you putting their needs and wants and whims ahead of yours, they likely won’t be delighted when you start to heal, grow and learn to put yourself first. the people-you-used-to-pleased may have some feels about that… and that’s okay. truly. i didn’t say it would be…
Read MoreEp #71: The Fixer Thought Fantasy
Have you ever found yourself compelled to tell someone else how they should be living their life or what to do in a situation, especially when your opinion wasn’t asked for? This fixer thought fantasy is something I engaged in for most of my life, and if this sounds familiar to you, I’m here to…
Read MoreWhen You Stop People Pleasing and People Aren’t Pleased
We’ve talked a lot about people-pleasing in this blog. That insidious habit of thinking that we can affect or change how someone else thinks or feels about us by trying to read their mind, do what we think they want to us, which is always a projection of our own internal landscape. Your thoughts…
Read MoreEp #70: When You Stop People Pleasing and People Aren’t Pleased
We’ve been diving into the topic of people pleasing over the last few weeks and I’m continuing on today because it’s an insidious thought habit that is necessary to understand in order to address ingrained behaviors we may want to change. People-pleasing thought habits can play a big role in the perpetuation of racism, misogyny,…
Read MoreThe Power of Thought Work in Becoming an Anti-Racist Ally and Accomplice
Today we’re going to get really real about racism. As a white Latina, working every day to understand, examine, and unlearn my own anti-black racism, to unpack and get clear on my own daily privilege. The privilege of passing and code switching and moving seamlessly between the white world and the Latinx world. I offer…
Read MoreEp #69: The Power of Thought Work in Becoming an Anti-Racist Ally and Accomplice
As a healthcare provider and life coach, it is incumbent upon me to use this platform to speak to my own privilege and to be a voice for what is happening right now. Today, I am putting out a call to action for all white and white-passing folks to learn about our own privilege, and…
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