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when you have an urge

When You Have an Urge: Restricting vs. Allowing

Few amongst us like to be told that we cannot do or have or say what we want to. To be restricted, restrained, held back in our daily lives. And so often, what keeps us from living our lives as we most deeply desire are these internal voices screaming, “No,” whenever you have an urge.…
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Neuroceptive Response: The Science Behind Stuckness

Ever found yourself setting a goal and feeling great and so excited about it, and then it’s time to do the thing and your body and mind are focused on everything but that thing you said you were going to do. Like journaling, setting limits on your own screen time, daily thought work, writing your…
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Healing Isn’t Linear: Learn to Feel Your Feels

Healing does not mean not having feelings. Growing and changing and healing and becoming your most intentional self does not mean never experiencing pain or heartache or irritation. It doesn’t mean staying centered and grounded and living in good vibes only all the time because that’s just not how the world works. Certainly not how…
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Conflict Avoidance: Learn to Speak Your Needs

When we believe that other people’s opinions of us matter more than our own, sharing our opinions, wants, needs, desires, setting boundaries, upholding them, and entering into challenging conversations can feel, well, challenging. We’ll look at the thought errors behind conflict avoidance and some simple remedies to help you begin to rewrite and reimagine your experience…
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Minimum Baseline Thinking: Build Trust With Yourself

When you have the thought habit of perfectionism, it’s so delightful to your brain to make grandiose and enormous plans to change your entire life in one fell swoop. And if that worked, I’d be all about it, but science, my love. My nerdy, nerdy, love. Perfectionism makes you think you have to create and…
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Self-Care: Have Your Dinner Before Dessert

Self-care is such a hot topic. These days, taking beautiful and loving care of ourselves is more important than ever and doesn’t ever need to look like a spa experience. Like taking hours to check out of the world. Self-care, in my world, looks very much like checking in and looking at our thoughts and…
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Acceptance and Closure: The Last Phase of an Apology

Learn what to do if someone won’t accept your apology, how to accept an apology, and finally, how to give yourself closure when that apology you dream of is just not forthcoming. This is a huge topic for those of us living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits because our egos and our sense…
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How to Apologize: Mastering the Language of Apologies

Apologizing is such a complicated topic for those of us with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits. Our brains got wired early to protect and defend our sometimes fragile-feeling sense of self by not taking responsibility and pushing away the notion that we could do something that someone else doesn’t like, or is offended or…
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