Posts Tagged ‘people pleasing’
When You Stop People-Pleasing, People Aren’t Pleased! And that’s okay
When people are accustomed to you putting their needs and wants and whims ahead of yours, they likely won’t be delighted when you start to heal, grow and learn to put yourself first. the people-you-used-to-pleased may have some feels about that… and that’s okay. truly. i didn’t say it would be…
Read MoreThe Fixer Thought Fantasy: You Can’t Fix Folks
Have you ever found yourself telling someone else what they should do to fix their life? How they should be living? How their life would be so much better if they just followed your plan, especially when they didn’t ask you for your input? This, my love, is the fixer thought fantasy, and it’s one…
Read MoreWhen You Stop People Pleasing and People Aren’t Pleased
We’ve talked a lot about people-pleasing in this blog. That insidious habit of thinking that we can affect or change how someone else thinks or feels about us by trying to read their mind, do what we think they want to us, which is always a projection of our own internal landscape. Your thoughts…
Read MoreHow to Interrupt the People-Pleasing Cycle
My love, this blog goes live on June 4th 2020, on the heels of the murder of George Floyd, amidst national protests around systemic racism in the US. I thought a lot about whether or not to publish a blog this week, and I decided to put this out there, remedies to people pleasing, because…
Read MoreRoot Causes of Why We People Please
When we are focusing on pleasing other people, the irony is in that moment, we’re usually not actually pleasing ourselves. We’re putting other people’s wants, desires, joy, happiness, as we imagine it, ahead of our own. This people pleasing habit often comes from our childhood, from a deep mammalian need and desire to feel safe…
Read MoreUnderstanding Your Desire to Control
Control is the cousin of uncertainty thinking. This thought habit doesn’t serve you, my darling one, but comes from a place of self-love nonetheless. While you can’t control the world, the thing you can control is so important to be conscious of. To have and hold at top of mind. And that, my darling, is…
Read MoreSix Surprising Codependent Habits
I lived the first 30 years or so of my life rolling around in codependent thought patterns and habits, until I realized how deeply this way of thinking and showing up in the world had seeped into my mind, into my thoughts and feelings, leading me to act in ways that I now see as…
Read MoreThe Secret Sauce to Healthy Relationships
What does it mean to have a healthy relationship with other humans? Does it mean putting up with all their foibles? Does it mean putting your own needs last? Taking care of them first and making sure they’re happy? While all of that may be what you learned or what was modeled for you growing up,…
Read MoreBeing Okay with Being Wrong: It’s Liberating!
Who amongst us likes to be told that we’re wrong? If you’re nodding along going, “Yeah, I love being wrong,” then you, my love, are in the minority of humans. And yet, when we’re working to improve our lives, to put an end to painful patterns like codependent thinking, self-doubt, anxiety, and to work towards…
Read MoreMy Vision for You This Season: Self-Love
While we’ve likely never met, I love you. I love you because you’re perfect, whole, and amazing just as you are. And if you’re anything like me, all the messages from the world, from the patriarchy, from your culture and society, from your parents or family of origin convinced you that you are something other…
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