Posts Tagged ‘codependency’
Curiosity Rules: Why It’s so Important to Get Curious
Humans are such funny animals. We are born these wildly curious creatures who put literally everything we can reach into our mouths. We explore the world with this passion and excitement. We are born soooo curious, so comfortable in not knowing anything. Curiosity is powerful. It helps us live with a big open heart, trust…
Read MoreWanting a Goal vs. Wanting a Feeling
The kind of thinking, “I’ll be happy when,” can be so problematic because of what it does to the now. It takes us out of this present moment, our present feeling. It posits the thought error that you will feel something different when your circumstances change. It’s disempowering and leads to so much suffering now…
Read MoreThought Work 101: A How-To Guide
The Thought Work Protocol is a framework I use in my coaching practice. It’s based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a top-down approach to understanding how humans operate in the world. With my clients I pair this top-down, brain-to-body framework with a somatic, body-based approach. Our nervous system runs the show too, our habitual experience of life…
Read MoreWhat if It’s Not a Problem?
When your sense of worth is externalized, which is the core wounding of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing tendencies, we tend to source our own wellness, worth, and value from others. And especially if you grew up in chaos or see yourself as a fixer, that person who takes on other people’s issues as things you…
Read MoreRadical Self-Responsibility
How often do you procrastinate on a project and then blame someone else for it not getting done when in fact, you didn’t do it because you spent the afternoon buffering on social media? How often do you talk about how the things you commit to just don’t get done, or how someone else made…
Read MoreListener Q&A Volume 1: Boundaries and Interdependence
For this listener Q&A series, I will dive into boundaries, interdependence, kindness, and housework. The first question comes from Megan in Colorado. She writes, “Hi Vic, I love the podcast and it’s been so helpful. I’m writing in because I need your help. I’m new to setting boundaries and it feels scary. And I don’t…
Read MoreWhy Complaining Never Helps
Complaining, especially chronic complaining, can be less than helpful. We will dive into what it does to your brain and some alternatives or remedies to help you navigate the moments in life where things aren’t what you want them to be. So you can take courageous action for your life. For those of us with…
Read MoreFalse Positivity
If you spend about two seconds on social media these days, you may notice the pervasive story that everything is just fine, thank you. This is called false positivity. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love positivity and positive thinking, but unless we’re being realistic and acknowledging and holding space for the pain and the…
Read MoreConflict Avoidance: Learn to Speak Your Needs
When we believe that other people’s opinions of us matter more than our own, sharing our opinions, wants, needs, desires, setting boundaries, upholding them, and entering into challenging conversations can feel, well, challenging. We’ll look at the thought errors behind conflict avoidance and some simple remedies to help you begin to rewrite and reimagine your experience…
Read MoreAcceptance and Closure: The Last Phase of an Apology
Learn what to do if someone won’t accept your apology, how to accept an apology, and finally, how to give yourself closure when that apology you dream of is just not forthcoming. This is a huge topic for those of us living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits because our egos and our sense…
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