Posts Tagged ‘codependency’

Why Wishing Is Not Enough: Shift from Wishing to Acting

why wishing isn't enough

How often do you find yourself saying, “I wish things were different?” Have you ever stopped to contemplate the effect of all that wishing thinking on your day-to-day life, how it takes you out of the present, and that wishing becomes the action you’re taking? I’ve been paying a lot of attention to this language…

Read More

Choosing the Wrong People: Why You’re Not Broken

you aren't broken

For years, I was told that I had a broken picker—that I picked the “wrong people” to date, picked the wrong friends, the wrong jobs and confidants because my picker was broken. And I believed it. I was in a challenging place in my life, a vulnerable-feeling place, and I believed what I was told…

Read More

Of Course They Did: A Tool for Accepting People

a femme on a brownstone stoop thinking of course they did

Back in the mid-90s my sister, Maria Eugenia, and I came up with this super helpful way of navigating the world together. We didn’t realize we were coming up with an absolutely brilliant coaching tool but we were! So this tool is a way to live in true acceptance of the people in our lives…

Read More

Curiosity Rules: Why It’s so Important to Get Curious

why do we need to get curious?

Humans are such funny animals. We are born these wildly curious creatures who put literally everything we can reach into our mouths. We explore the world with this passion and excitement. We are born soooo curious, so comfortable in not knowing anything. Curiosity is powerful. It helps us live with a big open heart, trust…

Read More

Wanting a Goal vs. Wanting a Feeling

wanting a goal vs. wanting a feeling

The kind of thinking, “I’ll be happy when,” can be so problematic because of what it does to the now. It takes us out of this present moment, our present feeling. It posits the thought error that you will feel something different when your circumstances change. It’s disempowering and leads to so much suffering now…

Read More

Thought Work 101: A How-To Guide

thought work 101

The Thought Work Protocol is a framework I use in my coaching practice. It’s based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a top-down approach to understanding how humans operate in the world. With my clients I pair this top-down, brain-to-body framework with a somatic, body-based approach.  Our nervous system runs the show too, our habitual experience of life…

Read More

My Vision for You This Season: Self-Love

self love

While we’ve likely never met, I love you. I love you because you’re perfect, whole, and amazing just as you are. And if you’re anything like me, all the messages from the world, from the patriarchy, from your culture and society, from your parents or family of origin convinced you that you are something other…

Read More

Direct and Indirect Communication

direct and indirect communication

What does it mean to communicate directly versus indirectly? When we have clarity on what we want and need, we open up space to communicate directly. Saying what we mean and meaning what we say. This can be super challenging if we were raised with a lot of indirect or sideways communication. We can now…

Read More

Codependent Habits and How to Heal Them

healing codependent habits

Codependent thinking is common for so many of us. This is when we put someone else’s needs ahead of our own and then resent them for it.  You can begin to shift out of the codependent thinking pattern and into a mutually interdependent way of thinking, feeling, and showing up in the world.  As adults,…

Read More