Ep #301: Stronger Together – Post-Election Musings

This is Feminist Wellness, and I’m your host, Nurse Practitioner, Functional Medicine expert, and life coach Victoria Albina. I’ll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love, let’s get started.

Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. Mis amores, my loves, my tender, tender, tender ravioli, this post-election moment is a friggin' doozy to say the absolute least, ever. As a listener to a show with the word feminist in the title, you are probably experiencing the rage, anger, sadness, grief at all of this moment.

And you know, I could do the life coachy thing. I could come out here and say, but my loves, you don't know what's gonna happen. You get to choose your thoughts about it. And like, yes, you do. We don't know what's gonna happen. You do get to choose your thoughts about it. And so much more than that is needed. Like, you don't need to pontificate for an hour about how you can choose to tell some story about how this is not a hot mess nightmare.

I don't think any of you need that. If you've made it to show 301, you've probably realized that you can choose your own thoughts. And if you're brand new, welcome to the show. I love you. Welcome. This isn't the best place to start. Please head back, learn about thoughts, learn about neuroplasticity, you know what I'm saying?

But if you've been here for a hot minute, you know both that we can change our own thoughts, we can pick our thoughts, we can do the work to regulate our nervous system so we can stay grounded and balanced and like, cool, no matter what comes and so much more than those platitudes are needed because actual human lives are on the line.

And most of those lives are those of marginalized and racialized othered people. Cutie BIPOC folks, disabled folks, folks with long COVID, women, my folks, my people, immigrants and naturalized citizens just like me. It's really real out there. And I'm not going to minimize that.

I'm not gonna minimize that there has not been a moment where I'm not constantly remembering that DT, and I love calling him that because it's also in Medicine, the Delirium, Tremens, and like, come on now, but like DT has talked about deporting literally me.

So, this is not a moment to wallow in despair and to let it take over and keep us from living our lives or taking action or being of interdependent support to the people we love. And it's also not a moment to sugarcoat it or do some silver lining BS. It's a moment to make solid plans for things like bodily autonomy, birth control, Plan B, HRT. 

It's a moment for every queer parent who hasn't adopted their own children to do so, for everyone not in a hetero marriage, so like anyone who is gay married to make power of attorney plans, and people who aren't married, but who like want your chosen family to manage your health and your finances if you can't, particularly like, I'm speaking to those of us who don't want our bio families to have control, write it down, take action for self-protection, put some paperwork behind it, right?

And gather our energy collectively for community care, for mutual aid, for collective liberation. Because who was on the ground taking care of folks in North Carolina five minutes ago when that hurricane came through? It was us. It was mutual aid to the rescue long before anything else. As my beloved Carol Walker said, we are the same people now as we were before the election. We have the same goals for care and for community, and we get to bolster ourselves to get to there.

So this is just one of many episodes I'll do all about our election feels, because we're really going to need each other extra in the next four years the way we did the last time around. And yeah, again, as a naturalized US citizen, one of the people the Mango Mussolini is talking about deporting, I have a lot of feels. And as a white Latina, I have a lot of privilege in this time of holding both truths. And I'm grateful now, as always, for my skills, tools, capacity, and gente, for my capacity to ground and regulate my nervous system, to turn to community for support, care, love, and to give support, care, and love ever more to the communities that need me. Like I know that so many of us are focused on supporting the communities that need us.

So it's time for some real talk about where we are, what's at stake, and most importantly, how to keep moving forward without falling prey to the swirling chaos designed to leave us exhausted, isolated, and disoriented. The architects of authoritarianism thrive on our overwhelm, so let's deny them the satisfaction. Instead, let's find ways to stay clear-eyed and grounded as we resist, connect, and build. And in the coming weeks, months, and unfortunately, years, I'll keep going deeper into many of the topics we're about to touch on today.

So we're going to go over nine things today, unless my brain adds a tenth. First, trust yourself. My beauty, you've got a lifetime of instincts, knowledge, and experience to draw on, and those are powerful tools. When we feel the constant drip of fear, we can start to doubt ourselves, wonder if we know what's true, question if we're seeing things clearly, listen to that inner wisdom. Recognize the things you already know, What you value, what you'll fight for. What feels like fear versus what feels like reality. If you're tired, allow yourself the rest you need to stay sharp. Trusting yourself is the foundation for everything else here. It's the steady ground under your feet in times that feel wild and unsteady.

A simple, powerful way to start building self-trust is to create a daily practice of checking in with your body before making decisions big or small. Take a quiet moment, close your eyes and bring awareness to your breath. Ask yourself, what do I feel about this choice? Notice any sensations, tightness, warmth, ease, resistance. These physical cues are your body's way of speaking, offering insights often more honest than words. Not dishonest in a like, lying way, but in a less tainted, manipulated, managed, corralled by socialization and conditioning. By learning to identify these signals, you're reconnecting with your inner compass, slowly reminding yourself, and it can feel like teaching yourself, that you can rely on your own wisdom to guide you. Every time you listen and honor what your body is telling you, you're laying one more brick in the foundation of self-trust.

Two, find your people and stay connected. This fight isn't one any of us can do alone. I've been out here talking about community and community care for ages.

This is a time to turn towards one another, to put our masks back on if we've taken them off, and to protect one another, because the systems aren't going to. Find folks you trust and make it a habit to check in, ground each other, stay sharp together. Having people to touch base with reminds us that we're not alone and that our collective power is more than the sum of its parts. Be that anchor for each other, to counter the isolation they want us to feel.

We don't need to drown in each other's worries or spiral together. We do need to remind each other that we are in this side by side and that we see clearly and that moving forward, we're moving hand in hand.

To strengthen these bonds of support, start a ritual with a trusted friend or group where you can each share one grounding thought, feeling, or intention at regular intervals. Like a text weekly or even daily if that feels right. And sustainable. Keep it simple and specific. Share a single sentence about what's helping you stay centered or something you're working on within yourself. Patience, love, care. This week, I am watching one cute puppy video a week. Like, keep it simple.

This practice isn't about solving each other's worries, it's about showing up with mutual care and accountability, creating a steady rhythm of connection that fortifies each of you. By holding space for each other's truths in this intentional way. You're building a shared resilience that reminds you both and all of the group, should you choose to create a little group, and I highly recommend you do, that you are part of something bigger than yourself moving forward together.

This is the work we do in Anchored and it's why I've so dedicated myself to a community-based model because we hold each other gently, gingerly, lovingly, and we are each other's people in this work. And If you don't have a community, if you don't have people to lean on, this is when I'll encourage you to find a mutual aid community, to find people doing the work you want to see done in the world and join them. Join an activist community, join a volunteer group, right? Be a part of the change you wish to see. And the beautiful benefit is the co-regulation for your nervous system. Kind of like a win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win.

Three, envision what you're building. Look. It's easy to get stuck in imagining worst case scenarios, especially in times like these. Just ask my brain. It has been going there, right? My brain's like, and then my sister's kids are going to come home from school and my sister is going to have been disappeared by this government. Of course my brain is going there, right? Of course. That's its job. It's a meaning-making machine. 

So yes, of course, a healthy dose of reality and vigilance is crucial. And there's something powerful about pausing our brains when they start to go to these worst case moments and instead to consciously not like in a buffering or bypassing way, but in a like, hold up, wait a minute, what do I want to create kind of way, to pause and to focus on envisioning where we're going to. 

Let's spend just as much time seeing the world we want to create, the equity, justice, spaces where everyone has a place. Picture how this resistance contributes to that brighter future. We're not just fighting against something, we're fighting for something. Hold that vision close. It's what keeps the fire burning when everything else feels so heavy. 

To keep this vision alive, try a daily or weekly practice of writing down one tangible element of the future you want to help create. One, just one. Come on, kitten step, my angels. One. Close your beautiful eyes should you feel so moved. Take a few deep breaths and allow your mind to wander freely into that future. 

If your brain is one that can visualize, take a moment to really envision what that justice can look, feel, and sound like. Picture it in specific sensory detail. Maybe it's the warmth of community gatherings over delicious and nourishing food. Everyone indoors, everyone held, everyone housed. The laughter of children who feel safe, who can go to school and know they'll be coming home at night, or the feeling of relief when everyone's basic needs are met. 

Write these visions down somewhere you can see often, like a journal or your notes app, or draw them out. I mean, crayon level, right? Draw it. Draw that community table and revisit them whenever your resolve wavers. This simple ritual reconnects you to the purpose and beauty in your life and work, anchoring you in the vision of the world you're building, one small step at a time. Kitten-sized step, indeed.

Four, handle your fear without letting it handle you. Fear has a way of making us feel small, of silencing us, but it doesn't have to. Our goal here isn't to pretend fear isn't there, it's to keep it moving so it doesn't trap us in our own minds. Fear will come, especially in times like these, but let's remember that it doesn't have to dictate our actions. Channel it, direct it, turn it into something that serves our purpose rather than silencing it.

When we resist intimidation and keep showing up, we make fear itself rebound. They want us scared and quiet. Let's be loud and persistent instead.

When fear creeps in, practice letting it move through you rather than letting it root you in place. Start by pausing, noticing where fear lives in your body. Maybe it's a tightness in your chest, a flutter in your stomach, or a heaviness in your shoulders. Breathe deeply into that sensation and imagine it as an energy you can harness, not a barrier holding you back.

Ask yourself, what does this fear want to protect? Often, fear is a guardian of something precious, like your values or the people you love. With this perspective, channel that protective energy outward. Turn it into action, into words, into steps that align with your purpose. This reframing shifts fear from an immobilizing force to a fuel source, letting you move forward louder, steadier, and more empowered.

Five, release what's beyond your control. Oh, my sweet angel, I see you in your tender heart and your desire to do so much good in the world and I love that about you. But not every battle is ours to fight And not every front needs our energy, nor can we give our energy to each and every fight.

That desire to act on everything, oh, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it so deeply. And this is where we need to step into emotional maturity because it's a ticket to burnout, right? And it just leaves us doing symbolic gestures, just being performative. And those kinds of actions, they don't bring the change that we are here to make.

So I will invite you to choose your focus. If there's something you can't change, release it with compassion, knowing you're preserving your energy for what will make a difference. It's not giving up, you silly little goose. Not at all. It's staying strategic, conserving our power for what truly matters.

To practice releasing what's beyond your control, try a gentle ritual of letting go each day. At the end of your day, set aside a few moments, and this can be while you're brushing your teeth, you know, please combine it with something else. I'm not adding more to do to your ridiculously long to-do list. But take a moment to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and mentally review anything that's weighing on you. 

Worries, conflicts, situations you wish you could change but can't, visualize each one as a small stone you're holding. And with each exhale, imagine placing a stone down one by one, releasing it to the earth. Remind yourself, this is not mine to carry. Honoring your choice to conserve your energy for what you can impact by consciously releasing your creating space within yourself, preserving your strength and clarity for the work that truly aligns with your purpose. This practice is an act of compassion for yourself and a commitment to staying focused on what matters most. 

Six, use your voice. Do not obey in advance. Here's the thing, my beauty. Silence can be compliance and political space that you don't use, you lose. Be mindful of when and how you speak, but don't preemptively silence yourself. This isn't the time to second guess every word or soften your stance because it might ruffle feathers. Use the voice you have, the political space you occupy. Talk to your racist Uncle Kevin at the dinner table. Make it clear where you stand. Silence is there. Playground. Our voices are the power they fear.

To strengthen your voice, try setting an intention each day to speak up in one small, meaningful way. Maybe it's expressing your stance in a conversation, sharing an opinion online, or supporting someone else who's advocating for change. Before you act, take a deep breath, feel the strength in your body and remind yourself, My voice matters. Picture your words as ripples in a pond extending beyond you, creating impact even if you don't see it right away.

This small daily practice helps dismantle the habit of self censorship that grows from our emotional outsourcing and makes total sense because of course we did. But when we speak up, we build confidence in the power of our own voice. Each time you speak with purpose, you reclaim space from the forces that thrive on your silence. You're taking a stand, sending a clear message that you won't be muted because your voice is here to be heard and it's one of the most powerful tools you have.

If your nervous system is screaming, oh my god, that is so scary and horrifying. I come from a long, long illustrative line of people pleasers. No, thank you, ma'am. I get it. I hear you. I see you. And I want to encourage you to do the work to build safety within your own nervous system, to build your capacity to stay with yourself, to have your own back, so that you can be a voice for change, not just a person complaining about the status quo.

Obviously, and as always, If it would be physically dangerous for you to speak up, especially if you're a person with a marginalized identity, a racialized body, a queer or trans body, etc. Please put your physical safety first, my angel. Please, please.

Seven, understand power and how to disrupt it. Power doesn't stand alone. It rests on a complex web of support from corporations to government to media. Find those pillars and know that shifting just one can destabilize the whole structure. This isn't a call to take on everything. It's about understanding where to apply pressure. Change doesn't happen because power willingly relinquishes itself. It happens because people find the pressure points and push and push and boycott and divest and push.

To start understanding power and where you can disrupt it, take a moment to map out the power structures around you. Choose an issue you care about and identify its supporting pillars. Who benefits from keeping things as they are? What systems or organizations uphold it? Then ask yourself where you, yes, little teeny tiny you, can apply pressure.

Maybe it's choosing where you spend your money, joining local activism that targets a specific policy, amplifying voices that are calling out injustice, even small actions like canceling a service or an annual membership that makes your shipping free but destroys your local economy. Redirecting funds, right?

Like actually driving to your local family-owned independent hardware store, bookstore, grocery store, instead of funding massive multinational conglomerates that don't care about us, right? Or consistently challenging harmful narratives, again, speaking up to like the literal proverbial racist Uncle Kevin, chip away at the foundations that power relies on. Visualize these actions as targeted precise taps, each one weakening the larger structure. By understanding power's dependencies, you become not just a bystander, but a force working towards transformation, using deliberate actions that ripple outward to create change. And oh my goodness, what a beautiful way to start stepping into your own power, right? Right.

Eight, reorient with empathy, but without compromise. The landscape has shifted, and some folks are finding new ways to communicate across divides. If this means finding new words to reach across difference, fine, but not at the cost of our core beliefs. Empathy is essential in helping people see a way forward, but compromise of values isn't, not in my world. This is about extending a hand where it makes sense, not bending our beliefs to fit someone else's, and most importantly, not to people please others or to try to make people feel better about making choices that hurt people in their communities, families, and world.

To practice reorienting with empathy without sacrificing your core beliefs, try approaching each conversation with the intent to understand, not to persuade. When you engage with someone who sees things differently, listen closely, acknowledging their experiences without immediately offering a counterpoint. After listening, reaffirm your own values silently to yourself, anchoring in what you know to be true. If there's a point of connection, extend empathy from that shared ground. 

But if the discussion veers into compromising your principles, hold your line with grace. You can say something like, I hear where you're coming from, and here's what I stand by. This approach allows you to bridge divides with compassion without diluting your values. In practicing empathy rooted in inner clarity, you're embodying a strength that invites understanding while remaining steadfast in what matters most to you.

And nine, finally, remember, we're not alone in this. My beauty, my darling, my tender, tender ravioli, they want us tired. They want us feeling powerless. They want us alone, but we're not. There are millions of us in the US and across the globe working, fighting, building something better.

Remember that when the weight feels heavy. This isn't just about resisting what we're against, it's about creating what we stand for. To remember you're not alone, we turn once more to ritual, my witches. I'll invite you to create a ritual of connection. Whether through a weekly call with friends, a virtual meet-up with like-minded folks, taking a moment to scroll through messages or posts from people who share your vision, or by joining a local anti-racist group, a mutual aid group, or other political or collective support group.

And yes, this local food bank is just such a place because food insecurity and poverty, those are political issues, my beauty. So if you're like, well, I just joining my local like anti-racist group, like that feels like a little much for me. Okay, beautiful. Start where you're at. The food bank is an aid, supposedly like on paper, a political food bank is an anti-racist group, right? Look at the statistics, who lives in poverty, who's food insecure, right? So go where it's warm, go where it's easy, start there and see where your empathy takes you. Yeah?

And meanwhile, as you join these groups, focus on how it can support you to continue to be of service. Take time to genuinely connect with the collective energy of others doing this work, even if you're miles apart. Place a hand on your heart and acknowledge that you are one piece of a much larger whole. Each heartbeat joining millions of others, each small effort building towards something transformative.

When the weight feels heavy, return to this ritual. Let it remind you that your work is amplified by countless others working in harmony, and that together, you are building the world you believe in, one steady step at a time.

So my loves, let's stay steady. Let's stay grounded. Let's stay loving. Let's stay open-hearted. Let's stay motivated by the essential human task which is to arrive in the world and live in the world as our most authentic selves, to love what we love with a big open heart, and let's keep moving forward together.

Hug your people, wear your mask, don't lose hope. The times are intense and there's power in knowing that We are still here, still breathing, still fighting, still building the future we believe in. Thank you for joining me, my babies.

It's always such an honor to be here. We've hit over two million downloads. Isn't that amazing? Look at us, so many tender ravioli, stepping out of the shadow of emotional outsourcing and into greater interdependence, and there is nothing. We need more now than interdependence.

So my beauties, let's do what we do. Gentle hand on your heart should you feel so moved. And remember, you are safe, You are held, you are loved. And when one of us heals, we help heal the world. Be well, my beauty. I'll talk to you soon.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Feminist Wellness. If you want to learn more all about somatics, what the heck that word means, and why it matters for your life, head on over to VictoriaAlbina.com/somaticswebinar for a free webinar all about it. Have a beautiful day, my darling, and I'll see you next week. Ciao.