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Ep #223: Getting Anchored with Ruth Duren

Feminist Wellness with Victoria Albina | 
 Getting Anchored with Ruth Duren

I’m delighted to bring you an interview this week with one of my recent Anchored graduates, Ruth Duren. Her transformation is nothing short of mind-blowing, and I love sharing empowering stories just like Ruth’s because I know first-hand how lonely and exhausting it can feel living neck-deep in emotional outsourcing. 

If you’re living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing tendencies and feel like you’re uniquely terrible or have defects in your character, listen in. Ruth is a phenomenal Master Certified life coach who helps immigrant businesswomen stop working harder than they need to while making more money, and she’s living proof of the power of stepping out of emotional outsourcing.

Join us on this episode as Ruth shares what life was like for her before Anchored, her experience in our community, and the transformations she’s experienced. She’s offering her insights on the power of being somatically connected with yourself, how she’s making a huge return on her investment, and her advice to anyone who is on the fence about joining. 


If you’ve been enjoying the show and learning a ton, it’s time to apply it with my expert guidance so you can live life with intention. You’re not going to want to miss the opportunity to join Anchored: my exclusive, intimate group coaching program. Click here to grab your seat now! 


If you have not yet followed, rated, and reviewed the show on Apple Podcasts, or shared it on your social media, I would be so grateful and delighted if you could do so. This is a free service that I want to get into as many ears as possible, and I’m counting on you to rate, review, and share it to let more folks know that this free support is available to them!

What You’ll Learn:

How Ruth is now showing up in her relationships differently.

What an interdependent relationship looks like.

The difference between getting coached and getting therapy.

How Anchored has changed Ruth’s coaching. 

The impact of learning about and integrating somatics into her life.

Ruth’s favorite takeaways from Anchored.

Why Ruth loves the Anchored community.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Follow me on Instagram

• Keep up with me on Facebook

• Curious about Breathwork Journey Meditation? Check out my free gift to you, Breathwork intro - a guide to the practice and a 13-minute session, all on the house, for you to download and keep.

Send me an email

• Let’s connect! Send a text message to 917-540-8447 and drop your email address in and we’ll send you a present. 

Ruth Duren: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

Corinne Crabtree

Katie Pulsifer

Brig Johnson

Kara Loewentheil


Full Episode Transcript:

This is Feminist Wellness, and I’m your host, Nurse Practitioner, Functional Medicine expert, and life coach, Victoria Albina. I’ll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love; let’s get started.

Hello, Hello my love my hope this finds you doing so well. This week, I am beyond delighted to share with you a conversation I recently had with Ruth Duren, who is a phenomenal life coach and a recent graduate of Anchored Overcoming Codependency. I love to share these stories; it makes me so happy.

Because when I was neck deep in emotional outsourcing… When I was living in all that codependent, perfectionist, and people pleasing blech, that morass of really exhausting experience, I felt like, A-#1, I was the only effed-up one. I was like, absolutely uniquely terrible. That I could never improve. That I had defects in my character, which sounds dire and terminal.

Because that's what I'd been told, right? That there was something inherently, by definition, wrong with me. That there was something bad about me, that meant that I had to live with this label, a codependent person, for the rest of my life. And the only other people I knew, who seemed to have a similar experience, were also the doomed.

And so, I really love sharing these really empowering stories of folks, human socialized as women, who are living proof. Can really testify to life being not great, when you can't feel your feelings. And life being way better when you are somatically connected with yourself, when you can feel your feelings in your body. And you're not living from your old reactivity, but from this new ethos of responsiveness to a regulated nervous system.

Ruth is a beautiful example of the power of doing just that, as a way to step out of emotional outsourcing and into interdependence. Okay, I'm not going to ruin the episode. But I'm kind of tempted to go on because Ruth is so dope. This conversation was so beautiful. And yeah, I'm just stoked to share it with you.

If you're listening in and you're like, “I want what she's having,” I don't blame you. Anchored is amazing. Living interdependently, amazing. Recognizing your feelings and your emotions in your body and being somatically connected with them, incredible. It is the most life-changing work, is the work I have done to connect thought work and somatics.

Anchored, my work, is the only place I know where both a CBT, cognitive behavioral theory-based framework, and somatics are coming together, being brought together in this way with breathwork. All the sacred, all the science, all the woo, all of it, to really help folks like you, folks like me, to change our lives.

So, if you've been thinking, “I really want to do Anchored,” and you've been considering it, questioning it, maybe ‘next timing’ it, this is it. Anchored is not going away, but we are taking a hiatus. So, it is likely, it's not like 1,000% decided, I will let you know when it is. But it is likely that this group of Anchored, this cohort starting June 2023, will be the last cohort for probably about a year, maybe a little longer.

If you're ready to make these changes, head on over to to learn more about it, to apply now, to hop on a call with me, and to grab one of the spots that's left in the program. Anchored always sells out. Always sells out. And I expect this group to sell out quite quickly, in that it's the last group for quite a hot minute. So, head on over, apply now, join us. Listen to Ruth, she'll tell you, you’ll be really glad you did. Without further ado, Ruth.

Victoria Albina: My darling, I'm so excited to have you here today. Thank you for joining us.

Ruth Duren: Thank you so much for inviting me.

Victoria: Would you please take a moment to tell the good people your name and where you live; sharing a land acknowledgement, if you know whose land you're on.

Ruth: My name is Ruth Duren. I currently live in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the land of the Pueblos. We have a ton of Pueblos around us, and I love living out here. It's very different experience.

Victoria: Yeah, yeah. I bet, I bet. You grew up in Africa, right?

Ruth: Yes. I grew up in Kenya, Africa, East Africa. I moved to the United States when I was 18. My mother's American. My father is Kenyan. So, I moved to live with my grandparents.

Victoria: Yeah. Right on. So, Ruth, what lights you up? What are you passionate about?

Ruth: I am passionate about the brain, coaching, evolving, change, my family, my children, my husband, my life, the life that I'm creating. I have two amazing dogs, so I love them. And I love walking. I just love living.

Victoria: I love that. I love that. One of the things that is really, really important to me is surrounding myself with other people, who are infinitely grateful for the wild and ridiculous gift of having been born a human and being alive every day. And you're definitely one of those people. You just exude this gratitude for being alive, and it is so beautiful. It's so beautiful. So, Ruth, what do you do for work?

Ruth: I'm a life coach. I help immigrant business women stop working harder than they need to. And so, help them make more money.

Victoria: I love that. I love that. All the studies show that when women have the money, really beautiful and amazing things happen. So, love that. Thank you, Ruth for doing that work. Ruth, you were recently in a cohort of Anchored, and it was an absolute delight to have you. Would you like to tell the story to the good people, about how we met, how we worked together, and how you ended up joining Anchored?

Ruth: Yes, I was introduced to you by the amazing coaches, mentors of ours. And we were in Mexico training together. One of the things that I kept experiencing, as a master coach, is living in my head. My head is my comfort zone. And so, it was recommended that I move into my body, I process emotions, that I live from a very different approach.

Because I had all the head knowledge; I knew what to do, when to do it, how to do it, where to do it. I knew all that because I studied it. And I just needed to go into my body. And so, I was referred to you. I worked with you for a couple of sessions, maybe four or five sessions, and then I joined Anchored. It transformed my life.

Victoria: Gosh, it was so amazing. It was such a gift. Let's shout some names out. I want to shout out, Corinne Crabtree. Because she is an absolute incredible coach, an incredible human, a great friend to us coaches. And who else was it who brought us together?

Ruth: Katie Pulsifer, Brig Johnson. I'm going to say, Kara Loewentheil.

Victoria: Love me some Kara.

Ruth: All the master coach instructors.

Victoria: So grateful. You said that Anchored transformed your life.

Ruth: Yes.

Victoria: So, can you tell the good people what life was like before Anchored? What happened in Anchored? And what this transformation is like?

Ruth: Before Anchored, I was a student; I'm a student, I'm a nerd. So, I'm going to learn all the things, I'm going to do all the things. Before Anchored, I bypassed the feeling lines in the tool that were taught, the model; I bypassed that. I would either adopt a thought or adopt actions and bypass the feeling. And I thought I was feeling my emotions, until Anchored.

I started really feeling my emotions and going into my body. And so, what I started to realize is, as I was doing the work in Anchored and going into my body, the actions that I wanted to take load so much easier. The way that Anchored taught the concepts that I already intellectually knew, brought it to a different understanding. That I was able to take the actions, I was able to practice the work that you were teaching, and take the actions. And be able to create the results that I was looking for.

So, going from in my head, into my body, and then taking those actions. It was an amazing experience. Just by who I became, my relationship with myself, through Anchored.

Victoria: Mm-hmm, that is so powerful. It's so powerful. How are you showing up in your relationships, in your friendships, in your marriage, with your kids, differently from this transformed space? And then, I want to hear about your coaching. But let's hear about those personal relationships first.

Ruth: Before Anchored, I was very fearful to be in relationships. After Anchored, because my relationship with myself was so much healthier, I was able to show up in my relationships differently, create my own safety. And show up in my relationships differently than before. I was codependent; didn't believe I was until Anchored.

But after Anchored, realizing how I was showing up codependently and how I was expecting other people to show up a certain way, so that I can feel a certain way. And now, when I'm in my relationships, I allow them to just be them.

One of the biggest transformation during Anchored was after we did a breathwork session. I realized I didn't want a new relationship, like I didn't want to leave my marriage. But I wanted a different relationship in my marriage. And who did I need to become to be that person in this different relationship?

And so, my husband and I, our relationship has transformed. It's so much more healthier. We're interdependent, in a different way than the codependency. My relationship with my children just up-leveled to a different level. Because every time I do this work, we just get to be more loving, more connected, and I just love them so much more. I love who they are. I like them. And I just love this experience that I have with them.

During Anchored, my mother-in-law moved in. And in most of Anchored program, I was working on my relationship with my mother-in-law. And I can say genuinely, I love who she is. I accept who she is, for who she is. And so, we have a very different dynamic. Anchored brought just a very different relationship dynamic in who I was and how I interacted with people.

Victoria: I love that. First of all, I'm just so inspired by the massive transformation in you, over the course of six months. Like, it’s just wow. One thing that struck me, is I heard you say that ‘my husband and I have an interdependent relationship now, instead of the old codependent one.’

Can you help the good listener to understand what that looks like on a Wednesday morning? What does that look like on a Sunday? What does that look and feel like? How do you know you're interdependent? Yeah, what is that?

Ruth: Before, when we were codependent, I needed him to do certain things, I needed him to show up a certain way, I needed him to do things so I can feel a certain way. I would be controlling how he showed up so I could feel a certain way. Or if I was feeling an emotion, then I needed him to act a certain way so I’d stop feeling that emotion. So, if I was feeling frustrated, I needed to control how he showed up for me to stop feeling frustrated.

Now, I feel frustrated. I question why I'm feeling frustrated. I identify what is it in me? What was I looking for? What was I hoping? What is it that is causing me to feel frustrated? And then, I solve for that and he doesn't have to do anything.

Or the best part is, he can be feeling frustrated, and I don't have to do anything about him feeling frustrated. And I trust, as a grown man, he can manage his emotion, or not. And so then, if he's feeling frustrated on a Wednesday morning, that's his problem. He can deal with it. And if I want to, I choose from maybe love, I can ask, “Do you need something? Do you not?” And just let him do his thing. I do my thing.

I would need him to schedule dates so I can feel loved. Now, I feel loved. And if I want him to schedule a date, I ask him. Or one of the things is he started doing, he just started scheduling things. Like, he scheduled Valentine's and told me in advance, which is very different dynamic, because he wants to do it.

And so, it's a very different. One person in the relationship changes, the other person in the relationship shows up with their highest part. I did this work also, through Anchored. Because it's so easy for me to believe in my children and their highest part, it was harder for other people. But I did that work in Anchored and it's transformed it.

Victoria: Ruth, my cheeks hurt, I'm smiling so hard right now. It's a seismic shift from living from obligation, expectation, demands, controlling energy, to communicating directly. Because I know you've been doing that. I know you've been telling homeboy what's up, like really directly. Trusting him to take care of himself, and you trust you to take care of you, and then you can meet with mutuality in the middle.

I love the way you said, ‘If I want to, of course, I can offer to be of support. I love him.’ And I know you love him; you talk about it all the time. One of the most beautiful ways we show support, and I've seen this in you, is by not trying to do other adults’ work for them. We don't realize we're being paternalistic and kind of super condescending and pretty rude by trying to do their emotional work for them. We literally don't realize we're doing it until we see it.

And so, I just love hearing you be like, “No, I trust him. If he's got a problem, yo, he'll solve it. But also, he could ask me.” That's so dope. Fixer, no more. I love it. No more fixer.

What about in your coaching, how has Anchored changed who you are as a magnificent, phenomenal master coach in the world?

Ruth: Oh, my goodness, it has transformed my coaching. Because just like, I was codependent with other people, I was codependent with my clients. And so, I needed my clients to do something. I needed my clients to get the concepts. I needed my clients to show up a different way, so that I can feel or believe I’m an amazing coach.

And now, just managing how I show up, how I think, how I feel, what I do. Not attached to them showing up a certain way. And so, I coach a lot more now. I work part time as an independent contractor. I coach so much more. And so, even my coaching, for the people that I coach, is at a very different level. Because I understand their patterns at a different level. I not only understand, intellectually, the concepts that are taught, I now have lived it and I can coach at a very different level.

Victoria: That speaks to one of the most important parts of this work, for us as coaches, is not pinning our sense of worth and value on our clients. And whether they give us validation or not. Or whether they do their work to our standards, as a rubric, as a litmus test, for whether we're good coaches. Because we do that, huh?

Ruth: Yes, I did that.

Victoria: Totally. Oh, c'mon, who hasn't? Right. It's part of the process of just identifying where our ego and where our codependent habits are in the mix. Because we're humans with human brains. And when codependent thinking is the soup you're swimming in, it's really hard to see it. That's really hard to know. Like, that's what I'm awash in here, right?

Ruth: Yes. Once you see it you can never unsee it. I love that.

Victoria: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what were some of your favorite takeaways from being an Anchored?

Ruth: Do we have enough time?

Victoria: Aww… This is now going to be a 700-hour recording.

Ruth: My biggest takeaway was when I was doing the work, and I realized that I can have a boundary with myself. And that one of the reasons I was not experiencing a lot of joy in my life was “manuals” for myself, not even with other people, just with myself.

Victoria: Wait. What's an operating manual in this context, for someone who doesn't know that? I talked about that, like 100 episodes ago. So, there may be just like, “Wait, a manual? What?” Will you define that?

Ruth: So, for me, I understand it as a rule that somebody else has to follow, so that we can feel any emotion. For me, when I had a manual for myself, a rule that I had to follow so I can feel, for example, worthy, it was actually robbing me of the feeling that I was having, or even the enjoyment of what was happening. Like, I had these rules that were really robbing me of enjoyment of my life.

And so, dropping my own manuals and creating boundaries for myself, really freed me up. Where I even talk less, when I'm setting a boundary with somebody else. I don't even have to set a lot of boundaries now, because it's me and how I would treat myself. And so, I just expect somebody else to treat me that way.

Victoria: Oh, I love that. That's really beautiful. Yeah, I think most of us can see where we have operating manuals for other people, but seeing them from ourselves to ourselves, that's next level, right?

Ruth: That’s Anchored for you.

Victoria: Oh, thank you. So, let's talk about the somatics. How was it for you to learn the somatics? How have you integrated them? And how have they changed your life, your relationships, your coaching?

Ruth: Somatics was the newest part of this. Where we’re going into your body and feeling the emotions and processing the emotions, or even just taking care of yourself as you’re having an emotion. And at first, I practiced it as we were going through the modules. But one of my biggest experience of processing somatic, my body work, was just even a couple of weeks ago.

I was having something happen, and I chose to just pause and do some of the somatic exercises. And just realizing how much less tension I was feeling, how less heavy I was feeling. It helped me process through the emotion that I was experiencing.

I now know, when I'm in touch with my body, when I'm resistance to maybe a concept, or I'm resistant to changing. And so, I have the tools that I can use to go through that emotion or go through that resistance. Or even support myself as I am doing something, and just even being able to label my emotions. So, the somatic tools.

At first when you do them, you’re like, “Yeah, this is not going to do anything but balancing,” when you need your own support, just to reassure yourself. Or just playing with a ball. I have my ball right here. At first, it was like, “Oh, yeah, this is cute.”

Now, I find myself, when I'm processing, even holding space for a client, they're processing emotion, I can also hold space by just even holding my ball, or holding my rocks, and just being present with them. Where I'm not in my head. I’m just cleanly holding space for them. And so, tools that I picked up in Anchored are supporting my own personal life, supporting my business, supporting my clients, and they're just changing lives. I'm so grateful for Anchored.

Victoria: I love that. And I love that it's something that you bring into your coaching, as well. And I meant to say this upfront, for folks new to my work, somatic means body based. Somatics are a body-based modalities that get us back in touch with our beautiful bodies in their wholeness. Because most of us who are emotional outsourcers are living from the neck up. Wouldn’t you say, Ruth?

Ruth: Yes, yes. This work has brought me into my body. I loved when you first said that our body is the one that takes the action. So, if I'm in my head, my body cannot take the action. If I'm in my body, I can take more of the actions that I want to take.

Victoria: I love that. Because our bodies are one of the most vital parts of mindset work, right? Ruth, as a master trained coach, I'd love to hear your opinion on the difference between getting coached and getting therapy.

Ruth: So, I have had therapy. Because of trauma in my childhood, I sought therapy first. And a lot of it was just, it didn't seem to make big shifts in my life. And so, I was carrying a lot of tension in my shoulders. I was feeling so heavy. I couldn't understand why wasn't it working.

When I discovered coaching, I learned the modality that we are trained in. I learned why I was feeling that. But at the same time, I also couldn't get past just going into the future, because therapy focused on the past. When I approached coaching, at first it was focusing on the past as well, for me, and some of it working on the future.

After Anchored, and during Anchored, I was able to go into my body, go through the emotions. My life now is focused on present and in the future. It's focused on what I want to create in my life, and actually taking the actions in my life to create the dreams that I wanted.

So, the frustration, before with therapy was, yes, it would temporarily feel better. And then during coaching, yes, I felt a lot better, a lot lighter, a lot more intentional, more in love with myself. But after Anchored, taking all that knowledge into my body, I physically feel so much lighter, and I'm physically taking action to create my future.

During Anchored, I created a relationship healing my inner children and my present self, and I developed a very strong relationship with my future self. I check in with her so much more now. It's not just intellectual, it's physical. I have a deep relationship with all parts of me.

Victoria: Hmm. Oh, Ruth, that is so beautiful. Yeah, from inner child to future you, every moment in between, getting present with it all. What a gift. Now, as a coach and someone who's done a bajillion years of coach training, I know you're used to getting coached in a community. I'd love to hear what it was like to be a part of the Anchored community. To get coached in the Anchored community, to be in the Anchored Slack. Tell me all about the community.

Because A-#1, you and I have talked about this so many times, we come from collectivist cultures, right? Argentina, Kenya. We're from cultures where the community is really, really important. It really, really matters. And we've talked so much, you and I, about the nervous system and how healing the nervous system happens in community. But I'm going to hush. I'm answering my own question. I’m hushing. Tell me about the community.

Ruth: I love the Anchored community. I'm also now, currently, in the alumni community. I love both communities because it's a very close-knit group of people, and they support each other. You can show up as much or as little as you want. But that community piece, as you're being coached, it's 20 - 25 people, you are then lovingly held by the people.

Over the six months, you get to know each other at a deeper level. And there are events also, in Anchored, where we can get to know each other on another level. And so, I love that community, it's very, very safe. I felt very safe from the very beginning. To be as vulnerable as I needed to be, as very safe and supported to take what I needed to take from the community, from the whole experience, and show up as my highest self. I have since ran into other people, who are friends now because of the community.

Victoria: That's so beautiful. I love to hear how people make friends and stay friends, for years and years. It's so beautiful. Talk to me about the time commitment, because you have this busy life, and you're all sorts of fancy pants. How long did you dedicate to Anchored? And what would you say to someone who's like, “I don't know, I don't know that I have time to do this right now.” Both, that energy of the right now, but also, “I don't know that I have time in my week.”

Ruth: Anchored was priority to me. At first, I didn't have a time schedule, when I was going to do it. And so, I thought I would just do it when I found free time. And as we progressed, maybe a month into it, I realized how valuable the concepts in Anchored were. I dedicated not more than 30 minutes a day, probably. Maybe five days a week, less than 30 minutes, to do a module and to go through it.

I made it like any other professional development that I'm doing, and I made it important for me. I did all the modules. And it didn't take that much. Even 30 minutes may be too much. Maybe if I was doing two or three at the same time. But I scheduled some time.

And I loved the way that every week is set up, that at the end there's the knowledge and then there's the somatic practice. So, the somatic practices just built upon themselves, and it was not that much, maybe 20, 30 minutes.

Victoria: Yeah, it's really doable. I mean, that was my goal, right? Is to make it doable, digestible. And I love that there's an app, so you don't have to sit at the computer. Because you and I, like most people, spend all day staring at Zoom. And I didn't want to Anchored to be like, “Ugh, one more burden, that I have to stare at Zoom all day.” So, that's pretty fun. You get to take Anchored with you, right?

Ruth: Yes. And I love the way that either you can listen to the videos, and listen to the content, you can read it. You get workbooks for everything; everything’s downloadable. I loved the whole dynamic of it, and the way it builds on each other.

Victoria: Hmm, thank you for that. Yeah, you know what a nerd I am for things like pedagogy, right? Putting together the order of things and having it build on each other was really important. It is really important to me. So, thank you for noticing. I appreciate that.

What would you say you're doing now that helps you to continue to feel as connected with yourself, as empowered, as in touch with your agency and your emotions, as you felt during Anchored?

Ruth: I'm in love with alumni group, number one. I supported you and I have a budget for things like this, and I joined Anchored alum for that. So, I have you still, every single week. I also have access to the modules and the downloads. So, if I want to go relisten to something, I have that.

And then, I also just keep with my routine of the daily downloads, the daily thought work, the daily things that I already was doing. But it's at a different level. So, maybe some meditation, some inner children work. But not as much as it used to be. Some “future me” work. I also do breath work. We have access to breath work every month, and so participating in that.

Just a lot of amazing access to the resources that you have. And the Slack group, I still have access to the Slack group. So, if I need coaching or need something in between, I can go do that.

Victoria: I think people who have never gotten coached asynchronously, via like a text/written option, don't get how amazing it is. And I know you love getting Slack coached, and connecting with me and others in the Slack. Can you talk about that, and what makes it so dope? And why it's a thing to be super-duper excited about?

Ruth: I love it. Because I can be coached on something, but at first, as I'm writing it down, I can even sometimes maybe coach myself on it. But putting it out there and letting it… Just time for when, the same day, or maybe if it was on a weekend, on Monday, you responded. I could then read what you said, think about it, and then respond if I needed to.

And then, what I've seen a lot of people do, and what I've also done, is we're working on something throughout the week, and then come the call, we can finish on that. Or even just work on something during the call and then keep working on it throughout the week.

Victoria: Yeah, I love that. It's always so fun to watch the community connect over the Slack. Because we have people across every single time zone, on every continent. It's rare that we're all on the same call, every single one of us, all at once. Because it's three in the morning, for some folks, at some point, right? But everyone can participate in the Slack. That's really sweet.

So, my wonderful Ruth, what would you say to someone who's like, “Oh, my goodness, this sounds great. But I’ve never invested in me. Like, I went to school, but that was for my career. I've never spent time and money and energy on me.” What would you say to her about joining Anchored?

Ruth: It's an investment in your future self. It's an investment in, the healthier you are, the healthier you are for your future self. And also, the healthier for everybody around you. I did the work in Anchored but everybody in, definitely my household, is benefiting from the benefits from Anchored. It's an investment that, for me…

I am making money. And I can directly say, I'm making that money because I was in Anchored. Because then I'm taking the action that I've always wanted to take. If I feel an emotion, like fear or shame, I have the tools and the resources to process that emotion, to sit with that emotion, to build a relationship with that emotion, so that I can take action.

And the action that I'm taking is then putting value out into the world, which then creates value back. It's an investment that’s paid off for me. I've already made more than I invested in Anchored.

Victoria: That's amazing. That is so incredible to hear. You know people don't really think about how much money they're spending buffering. And how much money they're leaving on the table by not believing in themselves.

So, for us as entrepreneurs, going out and launching a new project, getting new clients, creating content, doing Instagram, like all those things, that codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing keep us from doing. And folks with a job, when's the last time you asked for a raise or a cost-of-living adjustment or a promotion? Right?

Are you, if you are a woman in the world, are you making as much as the dudes with the same title? Have you checked? Have you asked? Have you inquired? People don't really think about how these ways of thinking of ourselves, these ways of keeping small, cost us money. So really, thank you for naming that. That's huge.

In general, what would you say to someone who's like, “Ruth, I don't know. Should I do Anchored?”

Ruth: Yes. What are you waiting for? Come get the support. Come get Victoria support. Come get coached by Victoria, and take your work to the next level. Anchored is an asset for me as a coach, the concepts that are taught in Anchored. It's the way that Victoria, and Anchored, puts it together, it makes you see it in a very loving and compassionate way that you can then do something about it.

Because like Victoria said, when you're buffering with some of these things that you're not even aware that you're buffering with, you're keeping yourself from creating the result that you want. And when you stop buffering with other people and not feeling emotions and having manuals, then you can show up and take the action that you want to take from a cleaner place.

Victoria: So beautiful. Thank you. Anything else you want to make sure the good people know before you share where they can find you?

Ruth: My relationship with myself, and my relationship with not even just myself, my business, everybody around me. My relationships have up-leveled, because the more I take care of myself, the more my relationship with myself evolves.

The more I understand the dynamics of why I am not doing something, or why I am not taking the action I want to take, the more I'm able to support people in the way I want to support people, in a very healthy way. And so, once you do this work, your life will be changed. Your experience will be changed. And I love it.

Victoria: Oh, Ruth, so beautiful. So beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Would you be so kind as to tell the people where to find you?

Ruth: You can find me at, I have a website. I do help immigrant business women create more money, without working harder or longer than necessary. Because they are buffering with codependency, people pleasing, with knowledge. They're in their head and not taking action. The concepts that I learned, I'm able to be more of an asset for my clients. You can also find me on Facebook, @RuthDuren on Instagram, and YouTube.

Victoria: I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me today, for joining Anchored. And you brought so much to the community, to the program. It was such an incredible gift to have you with us. I'm so glad you're still in alumni. I'm just glad you exist, and that I get to know you. So, thank you, Ruth.

Ruth: The feeling is mutual. Thank you.

Victoria: Thank you.

Thanks again for listening, my darling. I hope that that call was as inspiring for you as it certainly was for me. Ruth is quite the powerhouse, and her transformation is just nothing short of mind blowing. So inspired by her. If you want what Ruth is showing us here, if you want this kind of transformation in your own life, come and get it.

Join us in Anchored. Head on over to to learn more, to apply now, to get on a call with me where I'll coach you. we'll talk about where you're at, where you want to be, we'll decide together, we'll work through it and coach together to decide if Anchored is the right choice for you.

And if it is, we'll get you enrolled and you will get to start joining breathwork, somatic practices, dance parties, and so much more, the day you enroll. So, that's pretty exciting. If you start now, it's really like you get a month of Anchored on the house. So why not, says I?

Alright, my beauty, let’s do what we do. A gentle hand on your heart, should you feel so moved. And remember, you are safe. You are held. You are loved. And, when one of us heals, we help heal the world. Be well, my darling. I’ll see you in Anchored and I’ll talk to you soon.

If you've been enjoying the show and learning a ton, it's time to apply it with my expert guidance, so you can live life with intention. Without the anxiety, overwhelm, and resentment, so you can get unstuck. You're not going to want to miss the opportunity to join my exclusive, intimate, group-coaching program. So, head on over to to grab your seat now. See you there; it's going to be a good one!

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