Posts by Victoria Albina

Do you ever feel like you’re constantly swooping in to save the day? This rescuer role is a common thread in codependent thinking. We give and give, even when we’re depleted, believing it’s the noble thing to do. But here’s the catch: rescuing loved ones and truly supporting them are two very different things. The…

I’m here today on this 4th of July, not to talk about independence but rather of interdependence. This is a vital topic for us to discuss here on the podcast, and I’m joined by my favorite person in the whole world, Billey Albina. The bedrock of interdependence is mutuality and reciprocity, which when put together,…

Much of my training is in somatic experiencing, which is largely about trauma resolution, where I help folks navigate trauma within their nervous systems. It’s easy to start talking about somatics solely within the context of stress, distress, and trauma, but the truth is there are so many more applications of this work than just…

For the longest time, I thought I was the only one rolling around in my emotional outsourcing, completely disconnected from my body. The truth is we often disconnect from our bodies as a way to get through life. I’ve since been in community with many humans who have helped themselves reconnect with their bodies, and…

Losing touch with the ability to tune into and trust your bodily signals, especially in the context of emotional outsourcing, is super common. In parts one and two of this mini-series, we’ve defined embodiment and some reasons for cultivating embodiment. And this week, as always, it’s time for the remedies. There’s a complex interplay here…

I’ve been studying and working with the nervous system and somatics for over 20 years, and in that time, embodiment has been a key concept I keep coming back to. While it’s a word that gets thrown around an awful lot, you’re not alone if you don’t know what it means, and that’s why we’re…

Emotional outsourcing develops as a survival skill in response to a felt or experienced lack of belonging, worthiness, and safety, generally during our developmental years. As a little one, you may have developed habits that helped you feel okay in an environment that didn’t give you what you needed, and this explains how your nervous…

How often do you find yourself erupting in defensiveness? Does receiving feedback or critique feel like a personal attack? Is your reactivity negatively impacting your relationships? And how can you course correct when you find yourself being defensive? If you’re ready to stop moving through the world feeling primed for an attack and are tired…

How often do you find yourself mired in stories filled with past regrets? You know, those thoughts that start with, “If I just hadn’t done…”? Thoughts like these cause your brain to run wild with negativity bias and paint a picture of a would-be rosy life that’s just within reach. These thought patterns may feel…

My wife Billey was recently talking about a term in Buddhism that parallels so much of what we tend to do in emotional outsourcing, and that term translates to “idiot compassion.” This specific term feels a bit harsh and judgmental to me, but there are other, similar phrases that carry the same meaning and can…