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Rescuing vs. Supporting

rescuing vs supporting

A key component of codependent thinking is the misguided belief that it is our job to rescue others. We’ll dive into the trope of the rescuer. Why and how we do it and what we can do instead of rescuing, which is to be supportive to the people we love. Codependent thinking is this really…

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Emotionally Immature Parents

emotionally immature parents

Often at the core of our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits are emotionally immature parents.  Our parents are older than us, and as children, we would understandably look to them for wisdom and guidance. But parents are fallible human people like us too. They have their own baggage, trauma, issues. They have their own upbringing…

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Being The Cake: Let Others Be the Icing

being the cake

I came up with a saying some years ago around relationships. And as always, that can mean dating or partnerships, friendships, work-spouse relationship, parent-child, and that is this: I want to invite you to be the cake and to let everyone else in your life be the icing on the perfect cake that is you.…

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The Self-Abandonment Cycle

self-abandonment cycle

I want to talk about how our conflict aversion or subtle conflict creation habits play out in a self-abandonment cycle and impact our self-concept— the way we think about and relate to ourselves—and thus the people we love.  Those of us living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits, where we define codependent thinking as…

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Clean Fight Club Rules

We’ve delved into what conflict is and why it feels so enormous, how we avoid it and attempt to escape it by pushing it under the rug, pretending it’s not a thing, or how we sort of throw ourselves headlong into it or create it, often without even really realizing we’re doing that. We covered how…

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Conflict Doesn’t Have to Be the Worst

conflict doesnt have to be the worst

We can make conflict, particularly in relationships with the people we care about in our lives, feel a little easier, a little lighter, a little safer to traverse. The dictionary definition of conflict is a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one, which feels like very heavy language indeed. And I think we can…

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Conflict & Codependent Thinking

conflict and codependent thinking

Raise your paw if you’ve ever said “I hate conflict” or “I’m conflict avoidant.” I hear it all the time from my clients in Anchored. I’ve totally acted from conflict avoidance many times in my life. Let’s dive into what conflict is, what it isn’t, how our codependent, perfectionist and people-pleasing habits confuse the issue…

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Why Friendships Matter

why friendships matter

Friendship is an important part of our lives. Several well done studies show that having quality friendships, however you define that for you, leads to increased life satisfaction, reduced loneliness, and potentially longer life span through increased social connection! I would add to that the more loving people we have to co-regulate or stabilize and…

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Why Privacy Matters

why privacy matters

The difference between privacy and secrecy is that the roots of secrecy are so often shame, fear and worry about what others will think, say or do when they learn our truth. It was logical and understandable for us to decide, as children, that being secretive was safer, because it often was as children. It…

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Victoria Albina Breathwork Meditation Facilitator

Hello hello my love.

I'm so glad you're here to download your free meditations to help you connect inward to calm and soothe your perfect mind, body and spirit.

These tools will bring you more awareness of your own inner workings, so you can break free of codependency and live life with intention, freedom and self-love.

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