Posts Tagged ‘inner child’
Acceptance and Closure: The Last Phase of an Apology
Learn what to do if someone won’t accept your apology, how to accept an apology, and finally, how to give yourself closure when that apology you dream of is just not forthcoming. This is a huge topic for those of us living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits because our egos and our sense…
Read MoreThe Dangers of False Pre-Apologizing
Do you find yourself apologizing for having needs and wants? For setting a boundary? For taking care of yourself? Do you over-justify those needs and wants along the way? Do you apologize for things that just don’t need an apology like being a human with a human body or a woman with an opinion? So…
Read MoreCo-regulation
Co-regulation is a vital human function. Co-regulation happens when our autonomic nervous systems attune to another person, and there is an energetic exchange that helps both creatures to get into ventral vagal, to feel safe, secure and grounded in the moment. I say creatures because while most of us think of this as…
Read MoreThe Fixer Thought Fantasy: You Can’t Fix Folks
Have you ever found yourself telling someone else what they should do to fix their life? How they should be living? How their life would be so much better if they just followed your plan, especially when they didn’t ask you for your input? This, my love, is the fixer thought fantasy, and it’s one…
Read MoreEmotional Childhood
As children, we have limited capacity to control our emotions, and even less ability to take ownership over our behavior. Because we’re kiddos – and developmentally, we just aren’t there yet. As physical adults, we can easily slip back into an emotionally childlike state where our inner child is calling the shots, keeping us from…
Read MoreSelf-Confidence: How to Believe in Yourself
Self-confidence is this funny thing. It can seem like some people are just born with it and some of us, well, just aren’t. Some of us may come off as quite gregarious on the outside, but inside may spend our lives second- guessing, doubting, questioning ourselves. My love, no one’s just born being self-confident. Self-confidence…
Read MoreInner Child
In childhood, we learned to survive, to please our parents, our teachers, to label our behavior internally as either all good or all bad and to make it mean something about us as beings. We learned to think in black and white ways because that’s what children do, and to judge ourselves where we fell…
Read MoreGlimmers: An Antidote to Triggers
The world right now can feel extra trigger-tastic as we spend so much time indoors, in our homes, with our partners, families, roommates, or on our own, in quarantine, a pandemic swirling outside. If you have codependent thought habits, or your quarantine pod is one where codependency, indirect communication, or other challenging relationship patterns are…
Read MoreAntidotes to Control: Focus on What You Can Choose
It’s alluring to think we can control anything other than ourselves, that telling others what to do, how to do it, when, where, and why will help you to feel less out of control. But nothing could be farther from the truth, my love. Seeking control leaves you feeling out of control. There are ways…
Read MoreUnderstanding Your Desire to Control
Control is the cousin of uncertainty thinking. This thought habit doesn’t serve you, my darling one, but comes from a place of self-love nonetheless. While you can’t control the world, the thing you can control is so important to be conscious of. To have and hold at top of mind. And that, my darling, is…
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