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Rejection Has Nothing to Do with Your Worth


Rejection hurts because science. Evolutionarily speaking, my nerds, if you got kicked out of the village, you died. A lion ate your face and it was game over. So if you were vigilant to social rejection, you survived. If you were smart, you people pleased and upheld your perfectionist standards and you kept the community…

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Guilt Guilt Guilt! Helpful vs. Unhelpful Guilt

guilt guilt guilt

It’s normal and human to F up, to make a mistake, to not do a thing you said you’d do. But for many of us, not measuring up to some internal standard of perfection leads to a spiral of guilt. The kind of guilt that leads us to be unkind to ourselves, to beat ourselves…

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Minimum Baseline Thinking: Build Trust With Yourself

When you have the thought habit of perfectionism, it’s so delightful to your brain to make grandiose and enormous plans to change your entire life in one fell swoop. And if that worked, I’d be all about it, but science, my love. My nerdy, nerdy, love. Perfectionism makes you think you have to create and…

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Compare and Despair: How to Release Judgement

compare and despair

Do you ever hear about a friend’s achievements and your heart sinks? You’re totally happy for them, but something within you starts wondering why you didn’t get that job, that engagement proposal, why you didn’t reach that goal or milestone in the same timeframe that they did. This is called compare and despair. Your brain starts…

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Self-Confidence: How to Believe in Yourself


Self-confidence is this funny thing. It can seem like some people are just born with it and some of us, well, just aren’t. Some of us may come off as quite gregarious on the outside, but inside may spend our lives second- guessing, doubting, questioning ourselves. My love, no one’s just born being self-confident. Self-confidence…

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Failure for the Sake of It: How to Fail on Purpose

how to integrate failure into daily life

Failure is a glorious thing. It is amazing to fail on purpose, to take note of your failures. So you can revel in them because they mean that you put yourself out there. That’s a vital part of growth, of going for your goals in life, of showing yourself evermore love. Revel in putting yourself…

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Failure: How and Why to Fail on Purpose

femme carrying rattan bag with the words fuera de la oficina on it embracing failure

One of the things that comes up in breathwork often is that folks are scared to do it wrong, to fail at it and therefore be a failure. In the context of breathwork, of energy work, healing work, I’ll say there’s no way to fail or to do it wrong. Just by showing up for…

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How We Communicate with Ourselves

how we communicate with ourselves

How we communicate with ourselves encompasses how we talk to ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and the images we display to ourselves.  These are all modes of communication with an inward focus.  I used to have an old cassette tape in my head that said I was always on the verge of being in trouble. As…

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Pee Break Meditation: Your Sneak Attack on that Meditation Habit

Pee Break Meditation

We have all heard about the power of meditation: it’s calming, centering, lowers blood pressure, improves cognitive function, and makes us feel better overall. Meditation doesn’t just help us in the moment, the effects can be long lasting. In a 2012 study, Desborders et al. (2012)performed before-and-after scans on the brains of participants in an…

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New Year’s Resolutions

New Year's Resolutions

Failing to follow through on a New Year’s Resolution may be a near universal experience. Who among us hasn’t set some lofty goal on January 1st only to find that we have slipped into our old habits by mid-March? Apparently, all the cute gym clothes and good intentions in the world aren’t enough to transform…

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