Blog

The Inner Critic: 3 Steps to Manage Your Gremlins

inner critic

I want to share three tools I use when my inner critic gremlin comes out to eat emotional pizza after dark. They are:  awareness, acceptance, action. Awareness When my inner critic gets loud, I used to think that it was me talking. I didn’t know about internal family systems, which is the work of recognizing…

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Nervous System Resourcing: Anchor Yourself in You 

The nervous system is the missing link for so many of us when it comes to our mental and physical health. Understanding how our emotions impact our bodily wellness, how our minds and bodies communicate and are one, and this lens of the nervous system is such a powerful tool for grounding and centering ourselves…

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Catastrophizing: Reparenting is the Antidote

One of the thought patterns I see all the time—and used to do myself (ok, I still sometimes do it now)—is catastrophizing. Something small goes wrong or maybe nothing at all is wrong, and your brain spins a tale of the actual worst possible scenario. Maybe you find a bump on your arm, and your…

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Of Course You Did: A Tool to Stop Judging Yourself

Judging others is part and parcel of the codependent, perfectionist and people-pleasing way of being. Because we source our worth externally not from within ourselves, we are so scared of being judged by others, because in our unmanaged minds their opinion of us is more important than our opinion of us. So we judge everyone…

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Are You Being Nice or Kind: How Authenticity is Kindness

What’s the difference between niceness and kindness? Humans socialized as women, in particular, are trained to be nice—to put others and their wants and needs ahead of our own, to self-sacrifice, to be the martyr, savior and saint, to be the fixer. There is also a very specific story about what Nice looks like that often…

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Anxious Relationship Rushing: Why Pausing is Sexy

anxious relationship rushing

Anxious attachment in relationship is the kind I see most in us externalizers—folks with the thought habit of basing our sense of self worth in other people, in their thoughts and feels, their needs and how we can meet them, their opinion of us. From our codependent anxiety, we tend to cling, to put other…

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Attachment Styles 101: You Can Change Yours

attachment style

Coming from our codependent, perfectionist and people pleasing thought habits, our go-to in dating, in relationships, in pretty much every aspect of our lives is to live on good ol autopilot—from habit versus intention. One of my life goals is to live my own life from awareness, intention, checked-in-ness and to support you in doing…

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Client Coaching Q&A: Overcoming Codependency

coaching Q&A

In this Q&A I am sharing some of the coaching that I have done with the folks in my six-month program, Anchored: Overcoming Codependency. The folks in my program who have posed these questions asked for the coaching they want and need over in the Slack we have there, which is like a direct message…

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Trauma Therapy and Somatic Practices with Andrea Glik

convo w trauma therapist Andrea Glik

Victoria: You are a trauma therapist, you have studied a bajillion different modalities, and I would love to talk about what’s going on in the world of trauma support, trauma therapy these days, where you see things going. I think I’ll just open it up to you. Andrea: Certainly there’s a lot more of a…

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Hurt Feelings: Why You Don’t Need a Thicker Skin

feelings

I was talking with my client Eline the other day about this shift from being reactive in the world to being responsive. About noticing feelings and becoming aware of them. About learning to pause when you feel that little flood of anxiety, worry, upset, annoyance. When you feel that ping or zap in your belly that…

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