Posts by Victoria Albina
Emotionally Immature Parents
Often at the core of our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits are emotionally immature parents. Our parents are older than us, and as children, we would understandably look to them for wisdom and guidance. But parents are fallible human people like us too. They have their own baggage, trauma, issues. They have their own upbringing…
Read MoreEp #171: Rescuing vs Supporting
One key component of codependent thinking is the misguided belief that it’s our job to rescue others. The trope of the rescuer has us operating and giving, even when we’re running on empty, and while this seems like a worthwhile and honorable endeavor, the truth is there’s a fine line between attempting to rescue those…
Read MoreEp #170: Do I Stay or Do I Go? (Part 2)
In the first part of our relationship mini-series last week, you learned that I can’t actually tell you whether to stay or go when the going gets tough in relationships. However, what I can do is take a deep dive into the science behind relationships and guide you through some questions that will spark self-reflection…
Read MoreBeing The Cake: Let Others Be the Icing
I came up with a saying some years ago around relationships. And as always, that can mean dating or partnerships, friendships, work-spouse relationship, parent-child, and that is this: I want to invite you to be the cake and to let everyone else in your life be the icing on the perfect cake that is you.…
Read MoreEp #169: Do I Stay or Do I Go? (Part 1)
As we learn to see and overcome our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits, we may start to question all of our relationships. Some of us may be tempted to swing from deeply enmeshed and codependent to wildly unattached and independent, or even better, to land somewhere in the middle, in interdependence. Say you’re coming…
Read MoreHealing the Self-Abandonment Cycle
The self-abandonment cycle happens when we overdo for others, we over-function, we do things people haven’t asked us to do, things people could totally do for themselves. We live their lives for us. And we do this from our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits unwittingly because we learned in childhood that this is how you…
Read MoreEp #168: Regret is Self-Abandonment
You’ve heard me say it a million times over here on the podcast: you can’t heal hurt with hurt. I often hear my clients talk about their choices and their past with so much regret. They live their lives shouldering the heaviness of shame, blame, and guilt towards themselves, and my love, you already know…
Read MoreEp #167: Emotionally Immature Parents
This week’s topic is one that hits close to home for both me and my clients inside Anchored. Our parents or caretakers are who we looked to in childhood for wisdom and guidance, but we forget that they too are fallible humans just like us. And for some of our parents, raising kids was more…
Read MoreEp #166: Be The Cake
If you’re a frequent listener here, you’ll know how much I love a good metaphor, and this episode is no exception. I came up with a saying some years ago that applies to relationships, and it’s this: I want you to be the cake and let everyone else in your life be the delicious icing…
Read MoreEp #165: Style, Confidence, and Feminism with Judith Gaton
I have an important question to ask you my loves: if your body was not a problem to be solved, what would you wear? This beautiful question was posed by my guest today and it is just a morsel of the amazingness she has to share about style and confidence. Judith Gaton is my friend…
Read More