Posts Tagged ‘communication’
Clean Fight Club Rules
We’ve delved into what conflict is and why it feels so enormous, how we avoid it and attempt to escape it by pushing it under the rug, pretending it’s not a thing, or how we sort of throw ourselves headlong into it or create it, often without even really realizing we’re doing that. We covered how…
Read MoreSecrecy: How Shame and Secrets Hold You Back
And a big way our disbelief in our own worth presents itself is around the line between being a private person and being secretive person, and not knowing whether it’s okay to keep some things private, and not even realizing when we’re being secretive or lying in an attempt to people-please, protect connection or to…
Read MoreNavigating Food During the Holidays
Dana Monsees is a dietitian, nutritionist and body image, body love coach. She does phenomenal work to help folks both figure out what the best foods are for them, what nutrients support them, and drop the shame stories about food. Drop the stories that can be so moralistic. Some foods are good, some foods are…
Read MoreThe 5 Love Languages & Thought Work
As someone who reads, thinks and talks a lot about relationships, I think it’s high time that we talk about the 5 love languages, which is a framework for thinking about how we give and receive love popularized by Gary Chapman in his 1992 book, which has been a NYTimes bestseller for about 10,000 years…
Read MoreLetting Other People Be Wrong About You
I want to talk about the magical secret to joy that is found in letting other people be wrong —about you, about science, about fashion, about astrology, about what they heard you say, what they’re interpreting what they heard you say to mean—about all of it. This matters because it’s a big topic for us,…
Read MoreHurt Feelings: Why You Don’t Need a Thicker Skin
I was talking with my client Eline the other day about this shift from being reactive in the world to being responsive. About noticing feelings and becoming aware of them. About learning to pause when you feel that little flood of anxiety, worry, upset, annoyance. When you feel that ping or zap in your belly that…
Read MoreSaying Yes from Obligation: How to Say No from Love
When we believe that the only way to feel good about ourselves is to look outside of us, to get other people, our job, our career title or credential, our anything and everything to fill that whole in your heart that says “I’m not good enough unless other people say I am” it makes so…
Read MoreManaging Other People’s Emotions
Do you believe that it’s your job to manage other people’s moods, feelings, and emotions for them? With your family, or friends, your partner, at work, even on the subway some days. Do any of these sound familiar: Your partner is annoyed so you try to make them laugh or distract them. Your mom is…
Read MoreWhy Complaining Never Helps
Complaining, especially chronic complaining, can be less than helpful. We will dive into what it does to your brain and some alternatives or remedies to help you navigate the moments in life where things aren’t what you want them to be. So you can take courageous action for your life. For those of us with…
Read MoreConflict Avoidance: Learn to Speak Your Needs
When we believe that other people’s opinions of us matter more than our own, sharing our opinions, wants, needs, desires, setting boundaries, upholding them, and entering into challenging conversations can feel, well, challenging. We’ll look at the thought errors behind conflict avoidance and some simple remedies to help you begin to rewrite and reimagine your experience…
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