Conflict & Codependent Thinking
Raise your paw if you’ve ever said “I hate conflict” or “I’m conflict avoidant.” I hear it all the time from my clients in Anchored. I’ve totally acted from conflict avoidance many times in my life. Let’s dive into what conflict is, what it isn’t, how our codependent, perfectionist and people-pleasing habits confuse the issue…
Why Friendships Matter
Friendship is an important part of our lives. Several well done studies show that having quality friendships, however you define that for you, leads to increased life satisfaction, reduced loneliness, and potentially longer life span through increased social connection! I would add to that the more loving people we have to co-regulate or stabilize and…
Why Privacy Matters
The difference between privacy and secrecy is that the roots of secrecy are so often shame, fear and worry about what others will think, say or do when they learn our truth. It was logical and understandable for us to decide, as children, that being secretive was safer, because it often was as children. It…
Relationship Red Flags Are Gifts Not to be Ignored
Learning about relationship red flags is a vitally important topic for us from our codependent, perfectionist and people pleasing habits! Because we are constantly sourcing our self worth outside of ourselves. When someone wants to date us—while I’ll be framing this in dating, we can take these same lessons and apply them outside of a…
Secrecy: How Shame and Secrets Hold You Back
And a big way our disbelief in our own worth presents itself is around the line between being a private person and being secretive person, and not knowing whether it’s okay to keep some things private, and not even realizing when we’re being secretive or lying in an attempt to people-please, protect connection or to…
The Gift of Wintering: How to Relish Winter Rest
I’ve been thinking a lot about wintering. This winter, I’m really pausing a lot to remind myself that winter, Capricorn season, it’s a time of rest. It’s a time of renewal. It’s a time of hibernation. I mean, if you live in the northern hemisphere, how many bunnies are there in your yard right now?…
Resolutions, Regrets & Commitment
We can use resolutions as a buffer against our regret around what we didn’t accomplish in the last year without pausing to ask ourselves why we didn’t meet our goals or to process our emotions about the decisions we made (like if we made them from self-hate like weight loss goals). What we need instead…
Your Wants & Needs in Relationships
Understanding the difference between wants and needs can be a challenging line to walk from our codependent habits. We don’t believe that we can meet our needs so we expect everyone else to do it for us, and if they don’t meet our needs, they’ve failed us. We’ll discuss wants and needs in relationships—romantic, friendship,…
REDUCE STRESS and LIVE WITH MORE INTENTION, self-love & JOY
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