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Saying Yes from Obligation: How to Say No from Love

saying yes from obligation and no from love

When we believe that the only way to feel good about ourselves is to look outside of us, to get other people, our job, our career title or credential, our anything and everything to fill that whole in your heart that says “I’m not good enough unless other people say I am” it makes so…

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Choosing the Wrong People: Why You’re Not Broken

you aren't broken

For years, I was told that I had a broken picker—that I picked the “wrong people” to date, picked the wrong friends, the wrong jobs and confidants because my picker was broken. And I believed it. I was in a challenging place in my life, a vulnerable-feeling place, and I believed what I was told…

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Of Course They Did: A Tool for Accepting People

a femme on a brownstone stoop thinking of course they did

Back in the mid-90s my sister, Maria Eugenia, and I came up with this super helpful way of navigating the world together. We didn’t realize we were coming up with an absolutely brilliant coaching tool but we were! So this tool is a way to live in true acceptance of the people in our lives…

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Curiosity Rules: Why It’s so Important to Get Curious

why do we need to get curious?

Humans are such funny animals. We are born these wildly curious creatures who put literally everything we can reach into our mouths. We explore the world with this passion and excitement. We are born soooo curious, so comfortable in not knowing anything. Curiosity is powerful. It helps us live with a big open heart, trust…

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Somatics 101: Learn Transformative Somatic Practices

somatics 101

The field of somatics is where this bodymind connection is studied and explored and given the space to be felt and understood. It can be summarized as Susan McConnel says, in the felt shift from “I have a body” to “I AM my body.” The changes that I see in my clients when we bring…

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Wanting a Goal vs. Wanting a Feeling

wanting a goal vs. wanting a feeling

The kind of thinking, “I’ll be happy when,” can be so problematic because of what it does to the now. It takes us out of this present moment, our present feeling. It posits the thought error that you will feel something different when your circumstances change. It’s disempowering and leads to so much suffering now…

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Thought Work 101: A How-To Guide

thought work 101

The Thought Work Protocol is a framework I use in my coaching practice. It’s based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a top-down approach to understanding how humans operate in the world. With my clients I pair this top-down, brain-to-body framework with a somatic, body-based approach.  Our nervous system runs the show too, our habitual experience of life…

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The Perfect Time for Your Dreams is Now

Time for dreams is now

Does your brain love to tell you to wait? To not do that thing you dream of until your ducks are all in a tidy row, until the time is right, until the stars are perfectly aligned? Whether you defer your dreams for that most perfect moment, struggling to take action towards your goals, or…

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The Power of Yet

The Power of Yet

Do you have big dreams for your life? Do you imagine a future in which you set healthy boundaries, don’t take on other people’s emotions, do what you want to do, not what you feel obligated to do to keep others happy? Do you dream of quitting your job, starting your own business, going to…

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Empaths and Other People’s Emotions

Empaths and Other People’s Emotions

Do you identify as an emotional empath? I hear my clients say that they are so often emotionally exhausted by the world because as an empath, they absorb, take on, and feel all the feels and emotions of everyone around them. Like a firehose of emotion that’s constantly turned on within them, flooding them with…

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